I learn best by making mistakes and then taking corrective action.

Life, and life’s experiences, have taught me many things. I can (and often do) look back and realize how differently I might have acted in specific circumstances if I had the opportunity to relive them. Of course, it is not possible to relive those events, so the best I can do is to make sure that I respond in a different manner if a similar situation should arise.

All this leads me to certain conclusions.

1. If it were not for the grace of God, I would either have been killed or imprisoned and destroyed early on about the time I began to break free of my parent’s restraining influence.
2. I am far more forgiving of someone else’s indiscretions than I would be if I had not experienced similar (or worse) things myself.

That being said, let me bare my soul with something intensely personal. I married a woman who had three young children from a previous marriage. I had immense trouble asserting authority over this immediate family addition and responded in an authoritarian, often brutal, manner, which did nothing at all to persuade them (any of them) that they should follow my advice or orders. Instead, they responded with the attitude that my actions spoke so loudly that they couldn’t hear what I was saying.

Needless to say, it was not an easy time. The mistakes made were many and they happened rapidly. Before the lesson was learned from one, another had been made and it was only with the passage of time and separation that understanding (wisdom) began to appear. Life begins at forty, the saying goes and probably because, after forty years, a person starts to realize he does not know much and is willing to learn. In my case, it didn’t happen until I had hit at least my fiftieth birthday, maybe later, but, what a transformation it has made.

Today, if I had to do it over again, instead of trying to make my wife and (acquired) children behave as I wanted, I would simply talk with them, laying out the good and the bad possible, and then turn them loose to make their own decisions AND to live with the consequences of their actions.

Is this not what God does with us? It can be said that God does not force us to behave properly. It can be said that He warns us that IF we behave improperly, then we WILL experience certain (and logically following) repercussions. Yet, from a position of absolute knowledge of the future and knowing the hardships (or blessings) that will accompany our actions, God does not interfere with our choices nor attempt to overrule them. Instead, He allows us to go our own way and experience the consequences of our choices, either good or bad.

How do we approach the problems in society? We see something which is bad (from our viewpoint) and want to fix it by imposing our will and orders on others. If you would just behave the way I tell you to, then everything would work out best. You will be good, dammit, or else! We call this government and we spend unknown amounts of time, energy, and resources to make sure that we are the ones calling the shots, making sure that everyone else is behaving in the way that we want them to. As long as everything is going the way we want it to, life is good. If it deviates from that, then we have to assert our authority and power to force “positive” change on those who simply refuse to obey.

For their own good, of course.

With the passage of years and the understanding that comes from relentless self-examination, I have now arrived at the conclusion that it would be better for society-at-large to simply be warned of the dangers of certain actions rather than any attempts to “lead” it, forcibly, away from the hazards lurking around the corner. Personal peace has arrived at the realization that I am only required to advise people to take the right path instead of trying to prevent them from turning into the wrong one. It is not necessary for me to stop someone from going down the wrong road, but I will be held accountable if I do not warn them of the consequences of doing so.

This, I think, is the difference between government and love. Think about it.