I have owned a lot of guns in my life, rifles, shotguns, pistols. I have fired an enormous amount of ammunition through those guns. I have carried weapons on my person defensively. I have studied gunsmithing and completed a correspondence course in it, for which I received a certificate. I like guns.
Today, I have none. Not one. I do not own a single gun of any kind. It is possible that I may never again own or possess one. Why? What has changed?
My wife has a different view towards guns. She hates them. She has never owned a gun. As far as I know, she has never fired one. When the kids were little and there was the possibility that one of them could be hurt, there was valid reason for not having one in the house. Today that isn’t relevant. They are grown and gone off into their own world. I could take the easy way out by saying it is because of her attitude, but I won’t. There’s not a chance that I’m going to blame her because of the situation. It’s not her fault. If I did that, I would be admitting that she wears the pants, rules the roost, and tells me what I can have or not have, which is simply not true. She doesn’t do that. If I truly had an overwhelming passion to possess a gun, she might not like it and might express her view forcefully, but in the end would acquiesce to my desire. Shoot (no pun intended), the way our society is self-destructing, it is entirely possible that she might come to me one day and ask me to get a gun so that we had a means of protecting our home against violent offenders of our security and privacy.
No, there are other reasons why I don’t have or own guns. The only one I’m interested in mentioning here is that God has stripped and is stripping away all my self-defense mechanisms. He is teaching me to trust Him completely for my safety and security. Guns aren’t the only thing being stripped away, but they are part of the process. The fact is that I have gone through a long, hard, sometimes torturous lifetime of relaxing my grip and allowing God to have full control of my being. I won’t say that my guns were given up when my cold, dead fingers were pried away from them, but I will say that my fingers were certainly pried off, one at a time, and it was a very painful experience.
Most of my other possessions have been removed in the same way. Virtually everything I have ever “owned” has been taken away in one fashion or another, usually in the form of making bad decisions in the heat and emotion of the moment. Today, I live in a small log cabin (rented, not owned) which is adequate for my needs, but would be considered sub-standard by most other Americans. I have an F-150 (13 years old, still in reasonably good shape), a work trailer, the computer I am writing this article on, a few pieces of furniture, enough clothes to keep me covered and warm, some small hand tools, a very small bank account, a few other miscellaneous items, and a dog who lives with me, but isn’t really mine. Altogether, the value of everything (including the dog) probably wouldn’t be more than a few thousand dollars. This is the sum total of 54 years of accumulating possessions for myself.
However, my needs are met. I have adequate food, wood stored up for the winter, good water available by simply opening a spigot. My income is not substantial, but the bills are paid each month. I am able to afford small luxuries like coffee at Starbucks whenever I want or to take Cindy out for dinner once in a while. I am able to give to others of my time and ability, sometimes money, on occasion. These are things which could be taken away from me at any time, except that wherever I am and in whatever situation I find myself, I will always be able to give to someone else out of my time and ability, not necessarily money.
In addition, I have spent my life learning, absorbing knowledge, and educating myself. I have an incredible amount of talent and natural ability, some of which has been developed to one degree or another. Some hasn’t been discovered yet. I have an enormous potential to affect and shape my world, much of which has been wasted by selfish, stubborn, stupid living. I have a great ability to beneficially affect the lives of the people I connect with, whether they are close or far away, whether I know them or not. These are things which cannot and will not be taken away from me until the day I die or become comatose.
I also am learning what peace is. I am starting to understand love. Happiness is beginning to well up in my soul. My relationship with God is no longer being blocked by the things, material or otherwise, which I used to call mine. There are still times when I trip up and fall or have to hurdle some obstacle in my path, but these times and obstacles are becoming fewer, smaller, and farther apart. I believe that, finally, I am beginning to see the Light and am starting to understand what life is all about. My life, which is not mine, is being lived progressively less for myself and increasingly more for the glory of Jesus the Christ, whose Spirit lives within me and constantly and daily guides me toward the Truth. I can now stand with John Baptist who wrote 2000 years ago, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”
Would I trade what I have now for what I have lost? Ha! Not a chance! Not a chance!!